WHO AM I?

Who am I? Now that is a really good question. And it is the reason why I am up so early. Am I the sum total of my feelings? Some days they are really confused, my feelings, I'm talking about my feelings. They certainly aren't very controlled at moments, but they are mine none the less. 

Who am I? That is a question that we must ponder from time to time. The obvious answer is that we really don't know at any given time. We are, I suppose, always "becoming", being transformed into an "image and a likeness." 

Pauls words comfort me a little; "Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on...." It is this consistent pressing on, this journey of discovering who I am, the person who I was created to be that awakens my soul and draws me onward towards, as Paul writes; "...reaching forward to those things which are ahead." 

I understand how much of a challenge it is, not to be really sure of "who you are." It is much easier to rely on "what you do" to define "who you are", right? If, however, we do that we open ourselves up to the critics. Critics are ever evaluating your performance and passing judgement on how we did or did not do. If we connect, who we are, with what we do we run the risk of being depressed, or worse yet, dismissed by critics. 

I read an article about John Mayer, the singer song writer who actually moved to Montana to escape the madness of the music industry. He talks about getting up and reading the "horrible things the critics" wrote about him. He said "I got up every morning and let them into my heart."

A few days ago I taught a lesson on "Guarding your Heart." The writer of the Proverb makes the statement that "out of our heart flows the rivers of life." Now the word "heart" as it is used in this proverb is a metaphor for "who you really are." Guard the very "core, center" of who you are.... out of the reality of who you are ... life flows. 

One of the biggest challenges of my life is to really get a grip on "who I am." Who am I in the very center of my being? This is so important because if I don't know who I am down deep, then I don't know how to "guard it." 

I encouraged others to "own it." To take responsibility for their own heart, their own feelings. I have learned that you can't blame others for the way you feel or why you feel that way. If you are going to guard your heart you must first "own it." 

She cannot make you "feel" bad!  And he cannot put you in a bad "mood." If that were true that would mean you had given up control of your whole life to another person. No. It's your heart..."own it, guard it."

I challenged my listeners to have "mood swings." Yes, when you are in a bad mood, a depressed mood or just a lousy mood, go ahead ..... "swing it." King David did! He knew how to talk to a "down cast soul." He would start off depressed and worried and by the time he finished praying or singing he was praising God with all his breathe. You see you can have a "mood swing." You don't have to finish where you start! So I told them go ahead you can "swing it."

Over time I've realized that depression and misery likes company of the same sort. When David was at his lowest Samuel the prophet said; "Every one who was in distress, everyone who was in debt, and everyone who was discontented was gathered to him. And he was their captain...."(1 Sam. 22:2). It is so difficult to "guard your heart" when everyone around you is agreeing with you that you are a victim (and maybe you are). 

But it is still your "heart." You may need to "encourage yourself" you may have to "lead a revolt." Yes, you may have to "lead it."  That's right, help is not on the way;  if you are going to really survive this thing you are going to have to "own it," "swing it," and most likely "lead it." 

There is and always has been an attack on who you (we) are! Our very hearts and souls are beaten and wounded by forces that do not want us to remember who we really are. We are the "Beloved." We were created by our Lover to live in His Paradise. Our hearts are restless, not for the things of this world, but for the Paradise of His Presence. "We are forever restless until we rest in thee." (Augustine)

We must concentrate!  Yes, we, must keep our eyes off of the wind and on the Savior! Our concentration can so easily be broken by our circumstances. Listen to His voice as He calls us to "come." Come closer, come nearer still, move beyond the boat onto the water of His will.

How do you guard your heart?  Own it!  Swing it!  Lead it!  Concentrate on it! 

Good lesson, right? I thought so too! I went home and watched Brady win another Super Bowl. Oh, no, not, just another super bowl. No, his fifth super bowl, in overtime. I think it may even be the best super bowl of all time. Wow!

He "owned it, swung it, led it," and he "concentrated on it." 

I was flying high..... 

And then on Monday (the day before Annie and I were going on vacation) I got a text message, It was sent to someone else who simply shared it with me.....

I let it in..... I would never let someone dump their trash in my house, but I let this in my heart! Seriously! I just finished teaching about this! 

Oh yeah, you are thinking that I quickly repeated my own sermon to myself and got over it.... Well I didn't! Before the day was over my neck was stiff, my head hurt and I was grumpy. Just ask Annie! 

Tuesday morning we flew to a beautiful place, went to a beautiful hotel, laid down in a beautiful room, but my heart was broken. Sleep, please let me sleep. 

Who am I? Who am I?

"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine." (Song 6:3)

I am one who is loved! Loved by Love! 

In the very center, the core of my being, yes, in my heart I know who I am... I am loved! 

This is what we must guard! Out of this love flows all of life! Everything! The very enemy of our souls will do anything to cause us to question that love. Oh, I don't deny that I am a collection of many feelings, but those feelings all work together to reveal and draw me closer to my Lover! 

Anything that makes me question His Love, or my value, is a lie. I wanted to write to the few of you who will read this and encourage you. Guard your Heart! There are always forces at work to "steal kill and destroy, But Jesus, sweet Jesus, has come that you might have life and have it more abundantly... that you might enjoy it to the fullest"

"I AM MY BELOVED'S AND HE IS MINE"