First be reconciled....Matt. 5:24

So it's Good Friday!Here we are remembering the great offering that Christ gave for us! Here we are celebrating the "forgiveness" that adopted us into the very family of our Heavenly Father. I am always moved in my heart to reach out to every person that I have known in my life and be restored to them relationally as I approach Resurrection Sunday.I have come to understand that none of us have lived without sin, we all have sinned and fallen short of God's Glory. "Missed the Mark" so to speak.I've learned that all human conflict especially in relationships is generally the result of unrealized expectations! The problem , however, often times this is caused by having unrealistic expectations which inevitably led to disappointment.It is far too common that lifelong relationships are unnecessarily severed or destroyed; never to be useful to the Kingdom of God jointly again, simply because we never learn how to resolve our disapointments with each other.Jesus offers this advice;   in Matthew 5:23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.I wish I could tell you that it as simple as that!  But it has never been! It is just not true with brothers who are disappointed with you --- unrealized, unrealistic, unresolved, expectations!On Passover 2000 years ago He came to us.... and somewhere in your life He came into the midst of your disappointment and He reconciled you to Him....Wow! I wish I could do what He did.  Oh, but wait, I don't have too... I merely believe that He did. For me and ... Oh yeah... for my brother too.Much like death and divorce people go through the five steps of grief in dealing with dissappointment. When we are dealing with death or divorce or disappointment it can be done quickly and maturely -- in minutes -- in hours or -- in days -- or painfully, over -- weeks, months, and years!I have had to help many people deal with grief. And I stumbled upon what psychology calls .... DABDA. These are those fives steps that I mentioned earlier.

1. Denial -- believing the conflict or action even divorce or death is nothing. That it is really not going to happen.  "This Is not happening to me" ... in this stage people create a "false reality" to protect themselves from hurt and facing the truth and the possible consequences of their actions or someone else's or the event or circumstances that they are really faced with.  All that denial or false reality eventually comes crumbling done.
2. Anger -- how could this really be  happening to me?  How could they do this to me? I am a victim, everyone is against me, nobody loves me. They just want to take advantage of me or hurt me. I must defend myself from those who, betrayed me, hurt me, took advantage of me etc, ....this is a dangerous stage than can lead to further issues....
3. Bargaining --  if only they would do this -- I would be willing to do that! God get me out of this one and I'll serve you forever!  The whole point of bargaining is to try to avoid the consequences. Rarely does this step produce positive results. When people finally face the fact realistically...  they must repent of their own role in the dissappointment. This generally leads to people into a depressed state.
4. Depression -- can last a few moments if it is true heart felt repentance with a resolve to improve and restore. Reconciliation is the goal! Reunion of the relationship! Depression is broken the moment we turn towards God for grace. It is after all God whom we are called to trust, not people. We are commanded to love people. Everyone will dissappoint us at some point in our lives. Depression is broken when we realized that we have been living with "unrealistic expectations" towards people. People can never fulfill everything that we expect them to .. all the time, they are human beings, not Jesus. This breaks depression and this Grace opens the possibility, for future restoration.
5. Acceptance -- true conflict resolution, whether it is grief processing, oranizational schisms, marriage disputes, pastoral issues, dissappointments, etc.... can never be resolved until there is acceptance!  Acceptance from all those concerned that we are mere "dust." That no one among us is "perfect." Acceptance of the reality that we will all sin, we will all dissappoint one another, we all need to repent and to forgive. With or without repentance from not only the offending party, but from every person; requires everyone to look at: What really happened -- why did it happen -- what sins should be acknowledged and repented of and need to be forgiven of and of course what is God's ultimate plan. God has an ultimate goal or plan behind this entire situation.  "All things work together for the good..."

It is obvious to me that Our Lord and Saviour desires to be reconciled to us. And according to Matthew chapter 5; He wants us to be reconciled with each other!

It takes work!!! It takes Love!!! And understanding!!!

What I have realized over the years is that the enemy is always the one behind these things. He knows that if we stay united in realationship with each other that the Presence and the Power of God increases exponentially.

His death, burial, and resurrection has reunited, reconciled us to Him. His Presence and Power was released into our lives in a new way.... My prayer is that we "follow Him" in being reconciled to each other.

"First be reconciled to your brother...... Matthew 5:24"

May we truly experience reconciliation this Resurrection Season!!!